Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
