so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
