Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
