Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
