Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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