My liver just broke up with me...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
false alarm, still single
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
