When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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