clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
