We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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