Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
