Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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