She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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