so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
