She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
