Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
