If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
