No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
