There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
