Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
