i jhust puked up my retainher.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
