So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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