his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
