is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
