is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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