Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
