Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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