we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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