winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
