physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
