I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
