is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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