We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
