Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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