Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
