What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
