I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
