what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
