Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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