It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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