You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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