Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
