whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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