So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
