It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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