Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
