what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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