Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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