he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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