Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We had to coat check the pizza.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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