its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
