I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
